Embrace the Cynics

Change is hard as it is. You feel you probably can never make everybody happy. So let’s focus on those that are willing to follow the change, especially those that act as a role model and attract other followers. Right? Change Management experts might tell you about the first follower that starts the movement. They will probably say you need champions that will convince those that go with the flow to follow the change as well. They might mention the cynic who doesn’t want yet another change. But the cynic usually is not seen as somebody that plays a vital role in the change’s success. Or perhaps you stopped listening after the word ‘champion’: “Champions, yeah, gimme more of those…” Mind you, the cynic is not a saboteur, he is not actively opposing the change. But while we embrace the champions, we try to convince the saboteur of our good intentions, and we welcome the fence sitters who easy to sway in our direction… we tend to ignore the cynic. It is hard to deal with a cynic. You can exchange arguments with somebody who is actively opposing your ideas. But a cynic sometimes just seems against something for the sake of it. They are whining instead of arguing. The cynic is often seen as non-supportive but in a passive way. So, easy to ignore. But passiveness gets confused with not caring. They are passive because they have seen it all already. They have stuck their necks out before only to get burned. They are hesitating to get involved again, but that does not mean they do not care.

We define involvement as a positive, supportive attitude. But involvement has another face as well. Often it is the cynics that are most involved. Or at least they used to be. But somewhere on the road they became frustrated. Maybe they didn’t feel heard on a number of occasions and just gave up. Maybe they stuck their necks out only to be disappointed with the results. Maybe they have seen the same plan go wrong before. Whatever the background, their cynicism is rooted in involvement. They do care. We embrace the big silent herd and ignore or even outcast the cynics. But as long as the cynic still speaks up, he still cares. Most people are fence-sitters, they are more or less ambivalent towards change. They can easily be swayed in your direction, but that does not mean they are actively involved. Nor does it mean they really care.

I have a personal experience to share. I was the cynic once. I had been working for years already for this company where I had been involved in many initiatives, always on the foreground to help shape the future of the organization. I felt very involved and responsible. I had been the change champion for a long time. But slowly I became more cynical as I watched many initiatives start only to be stopped at the first moment another initiative came by. I launched all kinds of initiatives and was applauded for it, only to find I had to keep the flame of those initiatives burning by myself forever. I became frustrated because nobody seemingly was willing to consider what could go wrong with a plan while I was clearly seeing all kinds of potential problems. No doubt it slowly changed how people saw me: Difficult, cynical, always seeing problems. And yes, in hindsight I think I should have done things differently. In most occasions I turned out to be right with my upfront concerns, but of course by then people had already forgotten what I warned them for. At the time I found that frustrating, but I failed to realize it was also a difference in motivation, style, and personality. Most people in the organization were starters, they just wanted to start things without letting all kinds of concerns get in the way. I am a thinker. I want to think things through. I should have been more understanding towards these differences, so we could have benefited from both approaches. But… the leaders failed too. They did not recognize my cynicism for what it really was: involvement. They thought I was just being difficult while I was genuinely concerned about the future of the organization. They got frustrated with my objections to a level where they wouldn’t even consider anymore whether or not I had a point. I had always been the defender of the company’s style and culture and they just wanted me to be that again, without taking the effort of investigating why I currently wasn’t. I remember a company outing that was organized which I didn’t attend. One of the owners of the company got angry at me for not attending although the event was in our spare time. He argued I was an example for the rest of the company and others might see my absence as a negative signal. I felt guilty and frustrated at the same time. Maybe I should have attended, but on the other hand why didn’t he show genuine interest in the potential reasons I didn’t attend? Maybe if you had met me back then, you would have thought I was the natural born cynic prototype. But only I wasn’t. There was a much deeper history to my cynicism. And I am convinced that it would have been relatively easy to turn me back into the change champion I once was. If only someone would have genuinely cared about the reason for my behavior.

We presume there are always those that cannot be motivated. They are never willing to go the extra mile. They cannot wait until it is five o’clock so they can go home again. They oppose everything. There are always moping around. It is crucial to realize it is not their fault they became like that. It is the fault of the system, the environment they work in. And thus it is the responsibility of you as a manager. We make people into what they become in our organizations. Some organizations have a very clear command & control culture. Processes and rules effectively prevent people from thinking for themselves. We reward the ones that walk the line and ignore or even punish the ones that stray from the instructions they get. Sometimes it is not that obvious. It is not always a literal “Do as you are told”. Many times it is much more subtle. Even organizations that think of themselves as enlightened often have an atmosphere of compliance. We tell people they can decide of their own, but then check up on them all the time. We give them freedom but then kindly give our advice leaving the employee in total confusion whether he just got advice or an order. Professor Sumantra Ghoshal mentioned it the smell of the place. He stated most organizations create a smell that feels like downtown Calcutta in the summer inside their organizations. Scorching hot and extreme humidity. And then we expect initiative and responsibility.

You cannot directly motivate people. You can however create an environment where people can choose to be motivated. But often we create an environment where it is hard to be motivated. Don’t blame the cynic too soon. Not only is he not to blame for what he became, he might as well be speaking for the silent majority. But at least he is speaking. When you start talking to the unmotivated individual or the cynic, you might find out he is very passionate about his hobbies. Or he spends every Saturday afternoon at the local soccer club watching his son play. Or he volunteers at the local charity with all his heart. Why?! Why is he motivated during his discretionary time and not during work?! It is his fault he is not motivated at work or is the work environment to blame? The environment we managers created.

In my management and leadership trainings, I always express my opinion I am convinced that most people want to be intrinsically motivated in their jobs. Nobody would, given the choice, prefer a meaningless mind-draining time at work, only to collect their paychecks, over doing meaningful work AND getting the same paycheck. Most participants agree. Some mostly agree. And one or two disagree and argue that they know firsthand examples where people just didn’t want to work hard, whatever you do. Who is right and who is wrong? I know that my opinion is shaped by my mental model: my set of deeply entrenched values and beliefs of how the world works. As a result I might be to forgiving towards the exception to the rule, because in my mental model it is the system’s fault, not the people’s. But you need to be aware of your mental model too. If somebody seems unmotivated or cynical, how much of what you see is actually perception rather than fact, filtered by your mental model? If you are more skeptical towards the average work attitude of employees than I am, your mental model might filter out any signs that would prove otherwise.

You might argue that, even the biggest optimist must admit that there are always exceptions to the rule. Some people will never get motivated, whatever we do. Some are just naturally born cynics. And although I persist that even that person might flourish at another company, proving it was the system’s fault after all, I do admit there are exceptions to the rule. But as Brian M. Carney states in the book Freedom, Inc., you shouldn’t manage for the three percent exceptions. If management style, rules and procedures are setup or changed to ‘catch’ the three percent exception of employees that do not perform the way we want, the willing 97% will suffer as a result. So don’t let the exceptions to the rule influence your general perception of employee behavior. Don’t change the processes to deal with the real cynics or saboteurs, so it doesn’t affect others. But do call on your human side to reach out to them before giving up on them.

So how do we deal with the cynic? Well, the first step is to talk to him. Take his feelings seriously. Don’t start by asking why he behaves the way he does. That way you would push him right back in his corner and give the impression he is wrong. The basics of any relationships is trust, and it is no different here. Take your time to connect. What motivates him? Figure out what he is passionate about in life and invite him to talk about it. What are his deep beliefs?

Then try to discuss which of these passions, beliefs, and motivations he can relate to in work, in a positive or negative way. It might help to build trust if you do the same. Provide examples of what you are passionate about and how you try to embody this in your daily work. The most important aspect is that you genuinely care. If you don’t, or this is not your cup of tea, please ask somebody else to do the conversation. If you what you truly feel and believe does not match your words, it shows.

Only after this step, and once you have build a reasonable foundation of trust, you can discuss what would need to change in order for him to embed some of his motivations and passion in his daily job. How does a motivating environment look like? You might need to be persistent to break through the armor of “nothing will change, anyway”. But I can assure you that nobody would tell you he wants nothing to change because he doesn’t want to contribute to something anyway. It is okay to be clear you are not there to solely serve his needs, and that you expect something from him as well, should you genuinely try to change something in the desired direction.

No matter how much the cynic itself will change, I think you will be surprised how much useful information you can get to help you successfully implement the desired change. The above three steps could be enough to trigger a change in the cynic’s attitude. The feeling to be taken seriously. That someone genuinely cares. I remember a young programmer in my team. I was R&D Director of a software company. Just joined the company. The prevailing culture in the company was that if you want something you shout. This was ingrained in the culture at a time the company went through a rough time and the two owners default way of communication was to shout at each other. Loud. I mean really loud. Everyone could follow their fights word for word. I have never experienced something like that. So others followed. This particular programmer was quite insecure but was hiding it behind an angry mask. Most other team members were just introverts. He opposed everybody and everyone, and just wasn’t able to give in and choose his battles. When he displayed this behavior towards me I made it very clear, this was unacceptable. But immediately after I invited him for a talk. He was very unwilling at first. During our talk I made it clear his behavior was unacceptable, but I also made it clear I was willing to help him change. I explained to him that this being hist first job, he would have a very hard time pursuing a successful career if he thought this behavior was normal. I didn’t say that to intimidate him. I said it because I cared. He clearly wasn’t aware how hard he would make it for himself in subsequent jobs if he pursued this behavior. And it wasn’t his fault. The company had created this culture were screaming was okay and tolerated. He was just vulnerable to this kind of culture because it suited his inclination to hide his insecurity behind a tough mask. He slowly started to trust me, but I can assure you that if I wouldn’t have truly meant that I worried about his career, we would have gone nowhere. I can still remember his face lighting up when he was talking about his greatest passion: Japanese manga cartoons. I asked him what we needed to change to get him to smile like that every day during work. And that was the start of a positive change.

The last step is to trigger the latent sparks of involvement. If the recovering cynic genuinely feels certain hat changes are necessary, invite him to take the initiative. If you want something to change, then change it. Stop grumbling, but take action. Give him space. Ensure him you will support him. But he needs to initiate the change. Not you. Don’t let him put the monkey on your shoulder, allowing him to take a backseat again and wait to see what happens. It wouldn’t be the first cynic that turns out to be your biggest ambassador. Because deep down he has been that all along.